wake up i wanna do it froggy style
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
