eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
