u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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