We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize