Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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