Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Randomize
