My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
