On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
