it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
