i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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