i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
