I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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