I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
