You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
