can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
