I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize