Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
