But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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