It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
