North Korea, Best Korea!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
