People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
