Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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