Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
