So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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