Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
