Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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