she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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