just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
