wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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