I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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