I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
