We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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