Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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