dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize