I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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