i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
