When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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