you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I had to cum in my sink.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
