How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
