Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize