I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
