She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
