That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
People in love make me want to vomit
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
