oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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