apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
