Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
