Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize