VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
