He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So much Jack, so little girl.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How does one acquire holy water?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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