sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
