she smelled like a LAN party
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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