she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
