WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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