eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
