meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
