How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
