she woke up with a sticky ear
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
