I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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