Plan B is the new Plan A
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
