I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
