Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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