Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
