i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
