And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
