i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
